SLS Vegas: A First Impression Fall 2014

Ta-da

The renovations at SLS are impressive, no doubt about it. Especially when you know what they had to work with. However, SLS is clearly less successful at doing what Cromwell did, mirror Cosmopolitan. Regardless, it still looks great. 

The vibe is where SLS falls flat. Other than a few pit bosses & dealers, this place has no energy. They may have renovated the old Sahara but were able to successfully retain the "funeral procession" vibe it had towards the end.  We were there at around 4-5pm on a Wednesday but I've felt more energy in most casinos at 4 am. It was sad and empty. 

SLS has no public entrances on the strip.  The porte cashere is the main, and pretty much the only, way in. Other than the monorail, the only other ways in are through restaurants and/or clubs without clearly marked entrances. The concept appears to be a better take on the The Crystals forced traffic pattern but less successful at actually driving foot traffic. 

The property does have two clear reoccurring themes throughout. One is remarkably narcissistic and the other is confusing and unclear to even those that work at the property.  

The porte cashere has a large, one-eyed, smiling, arms outstretched to the sky, Pokemon meets Sponge Bob Squarepants character as its center piece.  Its said this is an artists representation of SLS figurehead Sam Nazarian's personality. Considering Steve Wynn has a $30 million dollar Popeye statue, you come to expect a little eccentricity from your Vegas personalities. And if that statue was all it was, you could...but it isn't. You'll find a head shot version of the character, with mouth agape and tongue exposed as slot bank toppers all around the property. The other memorable slot topper is an oversized handheld ornate mirror. The final egomaniac touch you'll find in SLS is the 10 foot tall marquee of Nazarian's model girlfriend dressed up as Cleopatra, used as the primary signage for the properties restaurant Cleo. In truth, it isn't as creepy as Wynn's new wife's giant color changing eyes used as the centerpiece of the restaurant named after her but still a adequate representation of his megalomania. 

Sam is always watching

The last WTF item are the monkeys. They are everywhere. On the backs of the employee's vests, on the blackjack felt and in a lounge called the monkey bar to name a few.  But what allows an odd choice of design to become something you wouldn't be surprised to find in the home of a serial killer is the fact that no one knows why they are all over the place. Dealers, waitresses, pit bosses and floor managers either simply say they don't know or those that think they do don't have consistent stories. Its bizarre.

And then there was, what appeared to be, one waitress covering the entire casino floor and the nonexistent customer service at Umami burger's bar but you'll find things like that at any property. This is about a morticians work on the dead. For those of you still mourning the lose of Sahara, fear not, because even though she looks almost unrecognizable, SLS Vegas has resurrected her spirit, just like she was, just before we lost her. 

You are still missed

I hope this is just a case of personal taste, an off day or even simply not being part of the properties demographic. Hopefully this property finds its market, caters to it well and becomes a big success. I wish that for almost all things Vegas (fuck you Gordan Ramsey & Guy Fierro). But one thing is crystal clear, SLS, in this incarnation, is NOT for me.

Now that doesn’t mean I’ll never go back or that they’ve committed some unforgivable sin.  However, I’ve been accused of being a Vegas casino apologist.  Some have gone as far as accusing me of never seeing a casino I didn’t like.  So I felt it was important to document, at least on my first impression, that I don’t like SLS Vegas. 

G2E 2014

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Random Vegas

Penny slots return approx. 88%; nickel 90-91%, quarter 93%, and dollar 95%

Vegas Mate Review of the Trip

Keren’ Oct 10th Review of Pizza Rock @Downtown Grand – 4/5 chips

Mark’s Oct 3^rd review of Andiamo Italian Steakhouse @the D – 5/5 chips

Twitpic of the Trip

What is it about a collection of machines and games that entrance so many of us?  Is it the noise?  The chinging “C” notes of the slot machines, the beeps of a video poker machine and even the sound of cards being dealt.  Why do we enjoy playing games that we are mathematically designed to lose at?  We intensely position ourselves for minutes around the table in anticipation of the seconds after the die are cast to reveal the results of our analysis of the situation.  It hardly seems like something fun to do or even worth the effort.  However, like all of you, the sights and sounds do mesmerize me and honestly, I don’t really care why.  I just know it feels good when I’m in its midsts.  I laugh when I lose because I’m supposed.  I shout when we win because we overcame one of the true absolutes in the cosmos, math…and its fun.  For all the reasons a casino floor thrills us, that’s why the panorama we took at Main St Station is the Twitpic of the trip.

24 Hours in Vegas: Summer 2014

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In this installment, Keren and I live a game we call "24 hours in Vegas" which is played exactly how it sounds.  Whenever we are really missing Vegas, we imagine "What if I was in Vegas right now and only had 24 hours to enjoy it.  What would you do"?  Fate dealt us an opportunity to live this formerly hypothetical scenerio and this is how we chose to live it.

Stuart Chronicles Summer 2014: Cromwell & Giada's

Often lovingly referred to as "Prop Stu" on the show, Stuart Poyner is a listener who I've had the pleasure of vicariously enjoying his multiple adventures in Vegas and various casinos around the world.  His latest updates were too tempting to not share with the rest of the audience.  So with Stuart's permission, we are adding his pictures to our Flickr page and trip updates to our Vicarious Vegas section on the blog.

In his first installment, Stuart shares with us his experience staying at Cromwell as well as his thoughts on dinner at Giada's.

Cromwell

It is just like being at the Cosmo. Uncanny. The rooms are quite dark and I imagine would be oppressive to some people. I thought they were well laid out with some unusual but none too practical touches. 

I love me a mirage

The gift shop is nice if you can block out the drilling noise. They are clearly still building something!

Why does my room have a backgammon set? 

And how long are all the pieces going to stay there? 

The security guy said all the rooms are different. So I imagine they each have a slightly different added extra. I would have preferred monopoly to backgammon...

My room key did not work at first so rather than trek all the way back to the front desk the housekeeping woman who let me into my room said someone would come up with a new key.  They didn't and I had to phone down.  Not a great first impression. 

It takes ages to walk to the lift as you have to read the carpet on the way.....

It is noisy here from the nightclub. I am on the lowest hotel floor but the noise here is about the same as from the Bellagio fountain view rooms. To me, this hotel and club will cause a serious problem with wanting to stay center strip. I don't stay at Wynn because all you hear is the nightclub noise at night. Now all the hotels on this corner are affected. It must be hell on this side of the Flamingo.  

I bought earplugs for my one night at The Cromwell as I assumed it would be noisy. What I did not count on was the fact that the bass beats vibrate through the building, so even though my earplugs block out most of the noise, I can actually still feel it in bed. (It's not the good kind of vibrations in bed that I can live with...). And it is now well after 4am!  

Does this just make me an old fart or has Vegas abandoned its 'traditional' market so much (or rather tried to embrace the club crowd without enough thought of the knock on effects to the non club crowd) that it is in danger of losing out?



I am running out of options for nightclub noise free hotels. And if Vegas does not want me then I have plenty of equivalent options around the world.

Mark's Thoughts

It's clear they took detailed notes at Cosmopolitan when it comes to decor and vibe.  Let's see if they have learned what not to do with the casino as well.

I imagine that's the next evolution in Vegas hospitality, sound proof rooms.  I can see a block of rooms setup that way.  However I don't know how sound proofing works with bass thumping.  I can see a property attempting to cater specifically to the more old school Vegas visitor...once they are done with the nightclub wars, if that ever happens.

Notes on Giada's


Very well laid out room, on two levels with lots of different areas with different seating styles. Bright and fresh looking, as a contrast to the rest of the hotel. Had a nice feel
.  When walking you to your table you are taken across the open kitchen food preparation area where they point out all the starters and pasta being made, plus pizza oven etc.


They clearly have a few opening problems.  I had just finished my pasta dish when they came to apologize that they had brought me the wrong pasta. So they took away my now empty plate and gave me a fresh plate of what I had ordered.  The fact that I had not noticed the difference may tell you something

With a soft G, as in Jihad...

The food was nice but nothing special.  The steak was very tender but not very tasty. They only brought the sides after we had finished eating it, despite me reminding them.  Staff are very friendly. 

We had dinner for three, two cocktails, no wine, a shared starter and three mains, no other starters.  One dessert and two special coffees. The bill was $260.